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At some point it hit me that most of us aren’t really speaking online anymore. We’re performing. Not in an obvious way. It’s quieter than that. You just start noticing how carefully you choose words. How quickly you explain yourself. How often you soften a thought so it doesn’t get misunderstood, screenshotted, or dragged up later. Even “being real” has rules now. You can be vulnerable, but not too messy. You can admit mistakes, but only if there’s a lesson wrapped neatly at

Every parent is told to want the same thing: exceptional children. High achievers. Leaders. Standouts. Children who excel, compete, and rise above the rest. This aspiration is rarely questioned. To want anything less feels like settling. I no longer want exceptional children. Exceptionalism demands constant comparison. It trains children to measure their worth against others. Success becomes fragile, because it relies on staying ahead. Failure becomes catastrophic, because it

Work–life balance is presented as a personal responsibility. Manage your time better. Set boundaries. Be intentional. Take control. These phrases are repeated so often they begin to sound like truths. If you are exhausted, it is because you failed to balance correctly. This framing is convenient. It shifts responsibility away from organisations and onto individuals. It allows structural problems to be reframed as personal shortcomings. Burnout becomes a failure of self-manag

I have attended more leadership training than I care to admit. I have sat in rooms with glossy slides explaining emotional intelligence, psychological safety, and difficult conversations. I have role-played feedback scenarios with strangers. I have nodded along as facilitators described the behaviours of “great leaders”. I have also sent my own team on similar courses, believing it was the responsible thing to do. I no longer believe in leadership training as it currently exi

I built my career on being reasonable. I was the one who kept meetings calm when tempers flared. The one who reframed aggressive comments into something palatable. The one who could be trusted to “see both sides” and avoid unnecessary conflict. Early on, this was rewarded. Managers described me as dependable. Senior leaders said I was “safe”. Promotions followed, slowly and quietly. What no one tells you is that reasonableness has a cost. Being the sensible one often means ab