We’re All Performing Online

At some point it hit me that most of us aren’t really speaking online anymore. We’re performing.

Not in an obvious way. It’s quieter than that. You just start noticing how carefully you choose words. How quickly you explain yourself. How often you soften a thought so it doesn’t get misunderstood, screenshotted, or dragged up later.

Even “being real” has rules now.

You can be vulnerable, but not too messy. You can admit mistakes, but only if there’s a lesson wrapped neatly at the end. Confusion is fine — briefly — as long as you resolve it publicly and move on.

What doesn’t really fit is the middle part.

The not-sure part.

The “I haven’t figured this out yet” part.

Under your real name, everything sticks. Old opinions, half-baked takes, things you said before you knew better. So most people stop exploring ideas publicly. They pick a position early and stay there. Not because it’s right, but because changing your mind costs too much.

That’s probably why anonymity feels different.

When no one knows who you are, you’re not defending a version of yourself. You’re not maintaining a brand. You can follow a thought where it actually leads instead of where it’s safest.

That doesn’t mean anonymous spaces are better. They can be ugly, lazy, cruel. But every now and then, you get something rare: someone thinking out loud without trying to win.

No audience. No reputation. No performance.

Just a moment of honesty.

Maybe that’s the part we’re missing.