The Lie of Work–Life Balance

Work–life balance is presented as a personal responsibility.

Manage your time better. Set boundaries. Be intentional. Take control. These phrases are repeated so often they begin to sound like truths. If you are exhausted, it is because you failed to balance correctly.

This framing is convenient.

It shifts responsibility away from organisations and onto individuals. It allows structural problems to be reframed as personal shortcomings. Burnout becomes a failure of self-management rather than a predictable outcome of excessive demands.

Balance is not a mindset. It is a condition.

It depends on workload, expectations, job security, and whether saying no carries consequences. Many workplaces celebrate boundaries publicly while quietly punishing them privately. The employee who logs off on time is labelled disengaged. The one who stays late is praised for commitment.

We tell people to prioritise wellbeing, then reward those who sacrifice it.

I stopped chasing balance when I realised it was not equally available to everyone. It depends on power. Senior people can protect their time because their absence is tolerated. Junior people cannot. Parents are encouraged to be present at home but penalised for flexibility at work.

Balance is not something you achieve once and keep. It is something negotiated continuously, often unsuccessfully, against systems designed to extract more.

The more honest question is not how to balance better, but what we are being asked to give up — and who benefits from that sacrifice. Until organisations answer that question openly, balance will remain a comforting myth.